Despite the issue of racial segregation of black people in town there are still few people in South Africa permitted to racial mixing. In the city for instance, the white and black are working together in recording studios where in the black people are chosen pertaining to their talent to become an artist. It is an opportunity to reconize their music culture and also provide a livelihood for those poor people of the South Africa. Some group of people living in rural areas conduct a concerts where in black and white people performing traditional music of Africa together as duets using guitar and ethnic instruments such as mouth bow. In some area in the city, african people organize a competition for black male choir singing (isicatamiya), but their judge was white. This event will be a landmark for good relationship to avoid discrimination of race. We can also look on a different point of view that these black people inentionally used white man to be judge inorder for them to tell their feelings and sentiments on the issue of discrimination through music.
Despite the segregation of black people in town, there are still a few people in South Africa prone to racial mixing. In the city, for instance, the whites and blacks are working together in recording studios. The black people are chosen according to talent to become an artist. It is an opportunity to recognize their musical culture and also to provide a livelihood for the poor people of South Africa. Some groups of people living in rural areas conduct concerts where black and white people perform traditional African music in duets, using guitars and ethnic instruments such as the mouth bow.
In one area of the city, African people organized a competition for black male choir singing (isicatamiya), but their judge was white. This event will be a benchmark for good relations between the races. The black people may have intentionally used a white man as the judge in order to share their feelings on discrimination through music.
January 5th, 2010 at 2:28 pm
Despite the segregation of black people in town, there are still a few people in South Africa prone to racial mixing. In the city, for instance, the whites and blacks are working together in recording studios. The black people are chosen according to talent to become an artist. It is an opportunity to recognize their musical culture and also to provide a livelihood for the poor people of South Africa. Some groups of people living in rural areas conduct concerts where black and white people perform traditional African music in duets, using guitars and ethnic instruments such as the mouth bow.
In one area of the city, African people organized a competition for black male choir singing (isicatamiya), but their judge was white. This event will be a benchmark for good relations between the races. The black people may have intentionally used a white man as the judge in order to share their feelings on discrimination through music.
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January 5th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
First sentence: use Africans instead of black people, it’s just more accurate (because the term "black people" usually refers to the American ones).
Second sentence: for this part "where in the black people are chosen pertaining to their talent", omit "in" and change "pertaining" to "according".
Third sentence: for this part "for those poor people of the South America", change "those" to "the" because then you’re singling out certain people, and omit "the" (before South America).
Fourth sentence: add an s in "group". Remove the "a" from "conduct a concerts". Remove "in" from "where in black and white people". In "black and white people performing traditional music", change performing to perform. In "such as mouth bow", add an "a" between "as" and "mouth".
Fifth sentence: rewrite it like this: "in some areas and cities, African people organize competitions for black male choir singing (isicatamiya), but the judges were white."
Sixth sentence: rewrite like this "These events will be landmarks for good relationships to avoid discrimination of race.
Last sentence: rewrite like this "We can also look at a different point of view: these Africans could have intentionally used white men to judge in order for them to express their feelings and sentiments on the issue of discrimination through music.
Dude, your grammar seriously sucks. Work on it.
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